Turks Just Wanna Have Fun
by Political Lion
Summary: Stories of the Turks at Shinra with nothing to do, hilarious chaos ensues. Starring Reno...that's all that needs to be said...
1. The Bets

**Disclaimer: I do not own any ff7 characters (Reno, Elena, Tseng, Rude, and Rufus) and Vampy Proxy owns Clarity. (I got permission********) **

**Authors note: This is my first story so I hope you like it********. Okay the fist paragraph is what happens at the end!!! ENJOY!!!!!! **

**Chapter 1 The Bets **

"HAHAHA, let's do that again," said Reno

"Quickly get her to the hospital," said Elena. The Turks quickly got her to the hospital. Tseng went to Rufus and told him what happen and who won.

**3 days later **

"Hey, Rude," whispered Reno, "bet you that if I poked Elena in the back she'd hit me,"

"I'll play how much," said Rude

"10 gil,"answered Reno. He got up and poked Elena in the back.

"Ow," said Elena. She got up and punched Reno in the gut.

"Owwww boss man do something," cried Reno to Rufus.

"No Reno," said Rufus looking down at the stack of papers on his desk.

"Tseng?" asked Reno

"Nope," answered Tseng

"Ohh come on there is no justice," yelled Reno

"Oh shut up Reno," said Elena. The rest of the day there was little talking.

The next day Rude paid Reno the 10 gil and then he made a bet with Elena who could make it to the top stair first for 20 gil. Everyone came to watch them. Elena won so they continued their day. Later that day Reno went to Tseng and said "My helicopter is much faster then your car. I'll race you to the outskirts of Midgar tomorrow at 4:00. I bet I'll win. 40 gil,"

"Okay then, date, time and money are set then," said Tseng.

**The next day **

"I want to ride with Tseng," whined Elena.

"you can," said Tseng.

"Rude rides with me!" yelled Reno.

"Okay as vice president… what the hell is going on here?" asked Rufus.

"Tseng and I made a bet to see who could get to the outskirts of Midgar first," Replied Reno.

"Oh okay then let me know how it ends," said Rufus.

**3:59 PM **

"Everyone ready?" asked Reno into the walkie-talkie

"Yep," Elena replied. Tseng revived the engine.

"GO!!!!!!!!!!" they yelled altogether and they were off. Tseng sped down the street and Elena's knuckles were turning white. Reno pushed the helicopter to its limit. Then Reno landed the helicopter down when Tseng pulled up there. Elena got out.

"I have to sit down," said Elena. She looked around and spotted something in the distance. "What is that," she said. She got up and walked towards it.

"Hey guys there is a person over there. We should take her back with us," Elena said as she walked towards her.

"No. lets just leave her here," said Reno

"What do you mean leave her here?" exclaimed Elena.

"Exactly that! Leave her here lying on the ground, while we fly back home," said Reno

"She's not dead Reno!" shrieked Elena

"I believe that Elena is right Reno. We well take her back with us and find out who she is," said Tseng, "Rude pick her up and put her in the helicopter. Reno you pilot."

Then they raced back to Shinra. Tseng and Elena were first. They went up to the helicopter-pad and helped Reno and Rude.

"HAHAHA, let's do that again," said Reno

"Quickly get her to the hospital," said Elena. The Turks quickly got her to the hospital. Tseng went to Rufus and told him what happen and who won.

**Authors note: to learn more about Clarity read Vampy Proxy's story about clarity, though it is not up yet, hopefully it will be soon!!!******** Oh Yeah, for you Reno fans Reno won against Tseng******


	2. The Cake

**Disclaimer: I do not own any final fantasy characters, Vampy Proxy owns Clarity. **

**Authors note: the first paragraph is what happens at the end. This chapter was originally the first chapter but the person who was unconscious was clarity and she is in this story too!! (you can learn about her more in Vampy Proxy's story which is not up yet.)**

**Chapter 2 The Cake **

"God get off of me!" yelled Reno. Elena had a foot on his head and one on his spine.

"Okay I think he gets it. Get off of him," said Tseng.

"Do I have to?" asked Elena.

"Yes we have to go," said Tseng.

"Ha-ha I can breathe," said Reno**.**

**2 days earlier **

"Okay, this year we are going to host a party, since it is around Halloween it is a Halloween party! Everyone _NEEDS_ to bring a treat of sorts," said Rufus, "you are dismissed,"

As they were walking back, Elena said "I'm going to make a cake," then she ran into her apartment and was out again with keys and dashed down the hall.

"Wow she's excited," said Reno and Tseng. Rude was already in his apartment. So the Turks turned in for the night.

The next day, Elena started to make the cake, the air was filled with the good scent of the cake, and then she realized she didn't have enough frosting so when the cake was done baking she went to the store. Meanwhile, Reno was walking by when the cake was pulled out of the oven and he smelled the cake his stomach growled. He quickly made up his mind with out thinking what would happen afterwards.

He was going to use all of his power to get to the cake.

First he went outside and got on a window washer chair thing and went all the way to up to Elena's window. It was locked and he didn't wasn't to jump inside because there were glass cases with loads of fragile things. He thought about jumping in but his back would be covered in glass. No he thought. Damn it now how was he going to get down fast enough so he went up and down the stairwell. Mean while Rufus heard 'dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun*stop* dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun*stop*

'What the hell is Reno up to now?" asked Rufus to Tseng.

"I have no idea," said Tseng.

Well back to Reno!

He was crouched down by Elena's door lock. Rude was walking down the hallway then Reno took out a bobby pin from his hair

"What the hell, Reno why do you have that in your hair?" asked Rude

"Good question, I have NO idea!" said Reno. Then he picked the lock. After a few minutes he hit the electrical wire and went flying back.

"Wow that was fun!" exclaimed Reno. He looked up the **AIR DUCT!** What a great idea. When he was half way in he heard someone coming and knocked on Elena's door, it was Clarity.

"Hey Eleney, are you in there? I want to go over Saturdays plans," said Clarity. Reno tried to think of what they were going to do.

"She's not home!" yelled Reno. Mean while Rufus heard the muffled yell and said "What the hell was that?" yelled Rufus.

"I think it is Reno in the air duct," said Tseng.

"Oh I see," said Rufus.

Well back to Reno!

"Why are you in the air duct?" asked Clarity.

"Well … um… I lost my hamster in here," said Reno.

"What is your hamster's name?" asked Clarity.

"Um it is … um… Clear Red,"

"Reno I'm not stupid!' exclaimed Clarity.

"Of course you aren't," said Reno.

"Well bye?!?!?" said Clarity. Reno started to kick his legs and got a boost from Clarity's head and went all the way in the vent.

"What a great accident you turned out to be!" yelled Reno.

"You are sooooo lucky I can't get into Rufus' pants right now!" she yelled back.

"Oh, so you have been in boss mans pants!" Reno replied.

"**SHUT UP RENO!" **yelled Clarity and she stomped away. Back by Rufus, he blushed.

Reno crawled away not looking where he was going and fell on his ass. He was in. He looked up to the counter and found the cake. He ate it like an animal until he heard her walk down the hallway. He left half of the cake and scrambled up the vent and crawled really fast and once more fell out of the vent. He landed as soon as Elena's door shut. Reno ran like the fucking wind to his apartment.

When he arrived at his room a loud high pitched scream was heard, "RENO!"

Everyone in the building heard this and their first thoughts were 'Reno is dead.'

Rufus and Tseng glanced at each other, frightened. "I'll get applications for a new Turk," Tseng announced.

"Yeah," Rufus nodded.

"Does everyone have a treat for the party tonight? . . . Where's Reno?**" **asked Rufus. Then the phone rang. Tseng picked it up.

"It's for you, sir," Tseng said. Rufus put the phone on speaker.

"Reno is too sick to work today. He is at his Grandma's house," Reno said, trying to impersonate an old woman, and then he hung up. Everyone burst out laughing because they knew what would happen if he showed up for work soon.

LATER. . . .

At the party, everyone was dressed up but the Turks. Rufus and Clarity were vampires. There was still no sign of Reno. Then in the crowd there was a bright head of red hair. It was obviously Reno.

He was dressed as a grandma. The Turks approached him, and took him to a blind spot of the camera, when there really wasn't one. Elena kicked him in the back and then stepped on him.

"Gods! Get off me!" cried Reno. Elena had one foot on his head and the other on his spine.

"Okay, I think he gets it. Now get off him," Tseng commanded.

"Do I have to?" Elena pouted.

"Yes, you have to."

"Haha, I can breathe again!" Exclaimed Reno after Elena got off him. Then they resumed the evening with Reno trying in any way to harm Elena, though he failed.


	3. Girl's Day Out

**Disclaimer: I do not own any final fantasy characters and Clarity is Vampy Proxy's character**

**Author's note: I had to rewrite this chapter to make it better so I hope you like this one! Please review!!**

**Chapter 3 Girls Day Out**

"Hey Rufus, we kinda spent a lot of money," said Clarity.

"On what?" asked Rufus**. **

"A new friend!" said Clarity then the doors swung open.

"OH MY GOD!" exclaimed Rufus, Rude and Tseng.

**2 Days earlier **

"Rufus is it okay if Clarity and I take Saturday off?" asked Elena.

"Sure," said Rufus. So they continued there day, sitting around watching Rufus and Clarity do the paper work, Clarity was getting use to the paper work system.

The next day, Clarity and Elena were talking about what they were going to do Saturday. Reno, Rude and Tseng were playing cards in the corner. Rufus had his feet up on his desk, napping. The rest of the day was like that.

The next day at 9:01, Elena and Clarity were off to the spa. At Shinra the boys were still sleeping until 10:00 then they played poker to see who would do the paper work. Reno was wining, Rufus and Rude were doing okay and Tseng was losing. After that they went to the cafeteria because none of them could cook well.

"Man, this food sucks," said Reno.

"Well none of us knows how to cook… well," said Rufus.

"Then let's order a pizza!" said Reno.

"Okay," they all said. They had pizza.

"I wonder what the boys are doing," said Clarity. They were now going to the mall to shop.

When the boys got off work Reno went to the mall. Reno saw Elena and Clarity and ducked behind things just to run right into them.

"Hi Reno," said Elena.

"Have you come to shop with us?" asked Clarity.

"nn," started Reno

"Great," said Clarity before Reno could finish. They went to Victoria's secrete. Reno tried to text Rufus, Rude and Tseng "HELP" but the Girls took the phone away. Then they went to the make up store and tried on make up even on Reno! They went into Hot Topic and bought a lot of stuff, they even bought Reno combat boots1then they went to get movies and games. Then they went back to Shinra.

They went to; Rufus' office.

"Hey Rufus, we kinda spent a lot of money," said Clarity.

"On what?" asked Rufus**. **

"A new friend!" said Clarity then the doors swung open.

"OH MY GOD!" exclaimed Rufus, Rude and Tseng.

"This is Rena," said Elena. Reno tried to get away but something was poking his back. It was Elena's fake gun. He went to sit down in a chair by Rufus' desk.

"Boss man you have to help me!" said Reno. Rufus was laughing way to hard to hear him.

"Reno I can not take you seriously with that make up on. Why did you put it on in the first place?" asked Rufus.

"They pinned me down and stuck a gun to me," said Reno.

"Did not" said Elena.

"Did to" said Reno.

"Did not"

"Did to"

"Did not"

"Did to"

"Did not"

"Did to"

"Did not"

"Did to"

"Did not"

Rufus Pulled out his shot gun and shot it in the air. Something fell down including Dark nation.

"Rufus you have got to stop doing that," said Tseng. The ceiling was different shades of white.


	4. Skating and Stairs

**Disclaimer: nope **

**A/N: sorry it took so long but here it is!!!**

**Chapter 4 skating and stairs **

"What the hell I'm I going to do with you people!" exclaimed Rufus.

"Give us candy," said Reno

"NOOOOO," said Rufus.

Three days later

"No way, rude we have to get these," Reno said well he was looking at the window in the mall.

"Do you even have the money for it," asked rude

"Ya, for two scooters," Reno answered. Then they entered the store and bought the two scooters and went back to Shinra.

The next day Reno took the scooter in to his office and rode it around every where, witch involved running into people. Then he had a brilliant idea of going down the stairs on the scooter so he did. At the offices, Tseng and rude were in Rufus' office and then heard, Dun dun dun dun.

"What the hell was that?" Rufus asked.

"Most likely Reno," he answered and told rude to go and see what he was doing. When he got up to the top floor Reno was sitting on the stairs with the other scooter.

"Well it's about time," he said and handed him a scooter. They kept going down until nobody used the stairs. Then the light bulb went on above Reno's head and exploded in over lode. He pulled the fire alarm.

5 minutes earlier, Tseng asked Elena to go find the two idiots. Well she was walking the fire alarm went off and she headed for the stairs.

Meanwhile Rufus, Tseng and Clarity were in Rufus office. "The stairs must be filled with people," Clarity said. Rufus noticed a window washer chair thing out side his window. He opened the window and climbed out on to the chair with Clarity and Tseng and down they went.

Mean while Elena was part of the crowed going down the stairs looking for the two Turks until she heard Reno's voice call "100 points Elena," she turned around and pulled out her fake gun and shot Reno but someone bumped her and the pellet went right by Reno's head and ricocheted off the walls. "HIT THE DECK!!!!" exclaimed Reno. The people around got down and then when it stopped, they got back up and continued to go down the stairs.

When they got back inside they found out that it was Reno who pulled the fire alarm but they could not find him any where.

The next day the Turks and Clarity went to Rufus' office. They all sat down in the chairs by his desk. "What the hell I'm I going to do with you people," ha said looking at Reno, Rude and Elena.

"ohh, I know give us candy," said Reno.

"NO" said Rufus.

"What do you mean," said Elena

"You, Reno and Rude with your little incident on the stairs and Reno pulling the fire drill," he said

"How did you know about that?" said Reno.

"I'm Rufus Shinra I know every thing," he said.

"Um... no you don't," said Reno

"Would you not spoil the ending," Rufus said

"WHAT!?!?!?" they all said.

"I don't know," said Rufus.

Yay chapter 5 is to be coming soon!!! Hopefully sometime this week!!! Please review or tell me what you thought about the ending.


	5. Normal Day At Shinra

Disclaimer: nope don't own it.

**Chapter 5 Normal day at Shinra **

"Oh, that was flashy," said Reno looking in the rear view mirror of a car.

"DAMNIT RENO!" yelled four people as Reno sped of to a bar.

4 days earlier

_**BOOM**_ the noise came from the basement.

"What the hell was that?" asked a freaked out Clarity.

"F*ck'n Hojo," said Reno.

"Creepy old man," said Elena, Rude nodded.

"WHAT?!?" asked Clarity.

"What part of creepy old man Hojo, don't you under stand?"

"Rufus," whined Clarity.

"Well his name is Hojo and he is a crazy scientist here at Shinra and indeed very creepy," he said

"Oh okay then," she said and they continued their day, sitting around.

The next day, they were all in Rufus' office doing various things. Tseng had the day off and Rude was off in the weapons department so Reno deicide to open that big mouth off his.

"Hey, boss man why don't you and Clarity have a race to see who can get the most paper work done in one hour," said Reno.

"Alright then," he said

"Okay," she said. When the one hour was up Clarity won.

"Wow Boss man after years of doing this you're still slow," Reno said.

"Well Elena beat you up the stairs," he said. Everyone laughed at the thought. Then **Boom** came from the weapons department area. 'Rude must be up to something' Reno thought. When the day was over, Reno went to see Rude who was working on a little bomb. Before they left Reno put the little bombs in his pocket.

The next day Reno was no where to be found at shinra, but it said he came in for work. Reno put a little black thing in to Elena's, Rude's, Tseng's and Rufus' closets. Then at noon Elena's and Rude's and Tseng's and Rufus' closets went ka-boom.

"Well, that was flashy," said Reno looking out a rear view mirror, driving away to a bar as one female scream yelled "Damnit Reno,"

A/n sorry it is so short but chapter six is the after math of the situation!!!! It will be coming soon!!!! Please review!!!


	6. Normal Day At Shinra part 2

Disclaimer: Nope don't own it!

A/n: okay the ending paragraph at the beginning is not going to be there any more!!

Chapter 6

The next day Reno when Reno went straight to Rufus' office. When he got there all the Turks and Clarity were there. Elena was in the middle behind Tseng and Rude, 'probably behind them so she doesn't rip my head off' he thought, her hands in fists and the 'I'm going to kill you' look in her eyes. He made sure to stay a good distance away from her.

"Well look who showed up today," said Tseng. Elena giggled. Reno looked at Rufus his eyes were cold.

"And why did you blow up our closets?" asked Rufus.

"Well …um... I got bored and experimented," Reno said. Dark Nation appeared from behind the desk and sat by Elena and pet her.

"Well Reno while I'm thinking of what to do with you, you and Elena are to take Dark Nation to the vet," Rufus said. Elena's eyes narrowed. 'God why her' Reno thought. As they went to the garage, Elena was very quiet, too quiet; he was starting to get freaked out by her. Usually she is talkative but when she is quiet some things up and not usually good for him.

When they where in the garage Elena walked up to a car that couldn't possibly be hers. She unlocked the car and threw the keys to Reno.

"Take it slow," she warned.

"Why you to scared of the car going to fast," he remarked.

"Well you're going to have to get Dark Nation out of the car then," she said.

"Okay," he replied surprised to drive the very nice car.

Then he sped out of the huge garage. He looked over at Elena and notice she was annoyed by the presents of him.

"Somebody's cranky cause I blew up their closet yesterday," he said. Elena turned her head with a scowl on her face

"Don't you think things threw before you do them?" she asked.

"Sometimes," he answered with a smirk as they pulled in to the parking lot of the veterinarian's office. Elena went to the back door to get dark nation and saw her sitting upright and her nails dug into the seat.

"Well Reno you are going to get dark nation out just as you said," Elena said. Reno peeked in side and saw dark nation. Reno wrapped his arms around her legs and picked her up. Then _rrriiiippp._ Oh no what was that' Reno thought and looked to see the seat bottom all ripped out.

"Well we should get going then shouldn't we," Elena said casually and walked towards the door. 'Oh Rufus is going to kill me!!' Reno thought.

After the check up they went back to Shinra right to Rufus' office. Tseng and Rude were in there when they came in.

"well now that we are all here I will start," Rufus said, "since our closets were blown up by a certain someone you are all going to have new black suits,"

"Oh but I liked the blue," whined Reno.

"To bad," said Rufus, "you are dismissed," then as Reno was about to go out the door

"Oh and Reno you are paying for the damage to my car," said Rufus. 'Damn it' Reno thought

yay chapter 7 is on the way and is a Christmassy chapter!!!!


	7. Miranda

**A/N: the title is one of my friends names because she really wanted one named after her. Enjoy the chapter!! **

At Shinra, they were putting up holiday décor. Reno was putting up lights in the hallway but couldn't reach the top. So he set out for help.

"Hey Laney, I need your help with the lights," Reno said as he started to come in her office.

"No I can right now," Elena said.

"Well, you need a break right now," Reno said and went right by her chair, she turn her chair to face him. He took this opportunity to pick her up and sling her over his shoulder.

"Damnit Reno put me down," Elena yelled

"Nope," he said and walked out the door to a open box at the end of the hall. He put Elena down and she ran right around the corner.

"Come on Laney did you have to do that," He said and ran after her. Elena ran right into Tseng's office, he gave her a questioning look.

"Reno is after me … have to hide," she said really fast and hid behind the couch. Then a minuet later Reno came in.

"Yo, boss man have you seen Laney?" Reno asked.

"No," he said and pointed behind the couch. Reno ran over to the couch and picked her up and carried her out. Elena gave Tseng the 'Evil Eye' but he didn't notice but Reno did.

"Ya know if Tseng saw that he might not like you any more," Reno said.

"Oh shut up," Elena said and started to kick him.

"Well here we are back to square one of putting up the lights, now are you going to run away again," Reno said as he was about to put her down.

"Maybe," she said. Reno put her back on his shoulder and picked up the lights. When they were almost done with the lights Reno's phone went off. He dropped Elena and dug through his pockets.

_Hello _

_Yeah _

_Okay _

_Now _

_See ya _

Reno put his phone back.

"You're a bustard," Elena said rubbing her side.

"Well any way we have to go to Tseng's office," he replied. Elena limped on the way there.

When they got to the office Rude and Tseng were waiting.

"Well now that we are all here I'll get started. Rufus is going to a party tonight and we have to protect him," Tseng said, "and wear something formal too,"

"Okay, boss man,"

"Yes sir,"

"…"

All the Turks responded in there own way. "You are dismissed," then all of the Turks left the office. Elena walked towards the stairs.

"Hey Laney were ya going," Reno said.

"To go get clarity,"

"Why??"

"To go shopping,"

"Oh okay just leave me out of it," he said remembering what happened a little while ago at the mall.

When Elena got to Clarity's floor she jumped out of her chair.

"What took you so long?"

"Hey I just heard about the party" Elena said leading the way to the garage and they were off to the store.

Reno deicide to spread the joy and give scarlet a present. He went off to the lounge to start the gift. Tseng walked in the room.

"Reno have you seen Rude or Elena?"

"Yeah, Rude is out getting lunch and Elena went with Clarity to go shopping."

"Okay, what are you making?"

"I'm making cupcakes for scarlet," Reno replied happily.

"Reno I know nothing about the cupcakes,"

"Okay boss man," Reno said and Tseng left. When Reno was done with the cupcakes he placed them in a box and put them on Scarlet's desk. Then he retreated to the safety of Rufus' office. Then in a few minuets there was a muffled boom followed by a scream then a few minuets later a cupcake covered Scarlet came bursting in the door.

"YOU," she said with a death glare in her eyes, grabbed Reno by the collar and started shouting at him but Reno had a smirk on his face that made Scarlet more pissed off.

"Scarlet, what is this about?" Rufus said as she took a breath.

"Reno put exploding cupcakes on my desk!!" she practically yelled. Then Elena and Clarity entered the room and they saw scarlet and tried really, really, really hard not to burst out laughing. Scarlet shot them a death glare and Reno smiled at them.

"Well scarlet, why did you open the package," Rufus said getting everyone's attention back to him.

"Well…um…I didn't know who it was from,"

"Why did you think it was Reno?"

"Because he does this kind of stuff,"

"Well it could have been Elena or Clarity or even Tseng or anybody for that matter," he said ," now go and get your self cleaned up and go back to work," once Scarlet was out of the office Reno spoke up.

"Hey, thanks boss man," Reno said

"Well it was pretty funny to see Scarlet covered in cake," he said, "Shouldn't you get ready for the party?"

"I should, shouldn't I," Reno said and walked off to go get ready. Then a few moments later Clarity and Elena left.

**Later that day, "**Hey you two ready yet," Reno said to the door. Then the door swung open.

"Yeah, let's go," Elena and Clarity said. They were both wearing a dress that had a cut go up to the knee but Clarity's dress was emerald green and Elena had a light Blue dress on.

"Wow I'm one lucky guy," Reno said and Clarity turned to look at Reno.

"Oh My God it is a Christmas miracle, Reno's actually dressed nice," Clarity said in surprise, they both giggled at the sight and went down stairs to the awaiting car. At the party Clarity and Rufus dance and Elena and Tseng dance together too until Reno just had to cut in.

**hehehe well the next one is about new years so I won't update till then hopefully********!!**


End file.
